we love ourselves!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Don’t ask me why the title so weird. I've been feeling emo since I don’t know when. Therefore... I guess that has become my middle name though Joa is being really nice telling me that’s not true. To Joa: I know you are trying your very best to comfort me and I really appreciate it. But then, I still can’t help feeling sad and down. I don’t know why!!!

Can’t believe I’m having a mid life crisis. Gosh, I feel so old now. I still can’t believe we are turning 19 this year. I’m gonna to be 19 in approximately 1 month and 15 days. Gosh, never realized how time flies. Anyway, cut the craps off and back to my midlife crisis. I don’t know what had happened. Something’s just so wrong with me. I'm feeling so down. I haven’t been in a good mood these past few weeks. No it’s not PMS. Something's just bothering me and I can’t figure out what it is.

I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few months. About uni, my life....wondering am I doing the right thing or do I choose the right path that sort of questions. I think it’s starting to get to me. I just don’t know what has gone wrong. I had tons of things on my mind right now. Many unsolved questions playing on my mind right now. I just don’t know how to get them off my mind. Am I too afraid to accept new things? Or maybe ahhhhh… my head is gonna explode soon. I just don’t know.

Why is life so complicated?
Why is my life so miserable?
Why is life so unfair?
Why do we have to choose?
Why do we have to decide?
Why can’t we just follow the flow and see where it leads us to?
Why do we have to study?

I mean life is too short to be spending on studying. We should enjoy ourselves while we can. I’d been asking myself questions over questions again. Why? Why? Why? But I still can’t figure things out. Guess I’m just too stupid and slow to find them out. Anyway enough of my-life-is-so-miserable-shit. Yadayada…. I don’t think you guys can take it anymore.

To eggie: I’m sorry that I din reply your message. Guess I’m just too tired to bother. Sorry. I’m so sick of people making promises and then breaking them off as if they never exist. I’m so sick of people ffk not only once but many many times. I’m just so sick of it. I can’t take it anymore. I’m also sick with people that never bother to reply your messages. They just never bother. And silly I, waiting for their reply though I know that’s not gonna happen. But still I wait and wait day after days hoping that they will reply soon. But no, they didn’t and never bother to. What an idiot.

I went out with Lixin, Joa, Pei Kee and Ai Wee on urm… was it sat? I don’t know la. That’s what happens if you have holidays for a super super long time. I can’t even remember what the date for today is. So do excuse me. Lixin is leaving today. So all of us held one small farewell party for her. I figure it is better to get out of my house so that I’ll stop thinking about things. But I was wrong. I got a wake up message from Joa telling me that she and Lixin are taking bus to curve now, which is about 11am. So, I figure I better get ready fast. Since my sister is going out, I figure she can give me a ride. Guess what? BMW is coming to pick us up. Boohoo. I had fun thinking that my day kick started not bad. I met Lixin and Joa at Ikano. Saw Lixin. She never really change that much since I last saw her. She was just so 'adorable' by rubbing salt on my wound. Ouch. She told me that our bodies undergo aging process as soon as we passed 18. Aiks. That bitch was seriously making my day. Things were worsen when Joa told me that Ai Wee was coming too. Yaiks, need to get out from there real soon. But then everything turned out all right. Things were not as bad as I thought it would be. Thank God for that. I being the queen of shopping managed to buy things too (notice the‘s’). I’ll tell u guys more and upload pictures on my next post. Right now, I’m just too lazy to bother.

I need to stop thinking right now or not my mind is gonna explode soon. But I just can’t help it. It keeps popping up in my mind. Ishhhhh. Hopefully I’ll manage to get over it on our next outing. Hopefully there is no last min cancel or people ffk. I just cant take it anymore. That’s all for right now.

sööĸ ĸööŋ hugged you at 1:07 PM;Y

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